Dear Sara: I need to transform a 27-year-old Ikea kitchen (that thing held up!) into something more colorful without breaking the bank. FYI I am a maximalist DIY-er… Viennese Pepper Pot
Dear Viennese Pepper Pot: Give yourself a round of applause for designing such an enduring kitchen. If the bottom cabinets are passable, keep them but upgrade with a fresh coat of glossy yellow paint (Firefly, Benjamin Moore).
Yellow is a playful color. Yellow will make you feel lighter, even if you don’t feel light. Add new countertops in leathered slate, which is both affordable and chic.
Here’s a fresh idea: How about covering the walls — or a wall — with broken tiles, like an Italian mosaic? I’m visualizing a haphazard pattern of smashed and scattered, bisque-colored ceramic shards.
If you plan to tile, sleeves will need to be rolled. Hoodwink a friend into doing the hard work. Example: I finally agreed to have lunch with my bossy, frizzy-haired friend Jessica at her house. She dispensed unsolicited advice for like an hour and then out of the blue, screamed “Let’s make a mosaic floor in the bathroom!” Was I being manipulated into manual labor? Probably. But I was eager for a break from the lecturing and agreed to help. Next thing I knew, Jess had dragged out a box of mismatched tiles and was smashing them in the driveway, shrieking like a madwoman.
Eventually we arranged the broken bits on the bathroom floor, centering a bold letter “J” fashioned from spare black pieces smack in the middle. It was very excellent-looking and totally original.
Jessica finally set the mosaic in place with mortar. I have no idea how such things are achieved, but Jess sure does. Now I always make time to hang out with my crafty friend, especially when I need something fixed or painted.
Do you have a Jessica in your life? It’s more productive if yours is bossy; she’ll relish telling you what to do and how to do it. Arrange an afternoon playdate at the Home Depot or your local salvage spot. Reveal that you “sort of” want to re-tile your kitchen. Your Jessica will do much opining. Let her do it! Her brain will be flooded with dopamine telling you what to do.
Later on the job site (your future new kitchen), the two of you will attempt to tile the wall, but since you can’t do it correctly, she’ll just do it herself. And voilà. A mood-lifting new kitchen, and constructive time spent with a friend.
Dear Sara: My beau is currently behind bars, but about to be released. Any advice on making him feel welcome in my house? I want him to stick around this time. — New York in Memphis
Dear New York in Memphis: Having never done time in the big house, I don’t know how it feels to re-enter the free world, but I can imagine a few items on my shortlist: an excellent meal, a comfy mattress and some crisp sheets. Toss in three down pillows and this guy’s coming back over.
Let’s start by channeling that maverick of domesticity, Martha Stewart. There was a lot of coverage of her 18-month prison sentence, but one image has always stood out: Martha, surrounded by barbed wire, pulling weeds out in the yard. Likely tipped off by security guards or a prisoner’s secret cellphone footage, Page Six published blurry pics of Martha, hunched in orange, harvesting plant matter.
The weed picking was not only about landscaping and meditation, but crucially, Martha was foraging fresh ingredients for farm-to-tray salads for her lady pals. As jail food goes, imagine the small luxury those organic dandelion weeds must have provided.
New York in Memphis, I’m wagering your guy would kill for a giant kale and avocado salad dressed with a bright lemon and olive oil vinaigrette. If you want him to stick around longer than a week, grill up a juicy bone-in rib steak from Lobels served with a side of organic potatoes au gratin. Eat this meal al fresco, served stylishly in the yard (not the prison yard!).
Following this kindness, your fella is going to want a soft landing. I recommend the very affordable Green Tea mattress from Zinus which can arrive tomorrow in a box from Amazon (I do hate to plug Bezos’ behemoth; if you are able to find this mattress from another reputable dealer, let me know).
Besides a great meal and a good night’s sleep without having to keep one eye open, take your beau for an inspiring walk in the woods. As preservationist Laurence Rockefeller says, “In the midst of the complexities of modern life, with all its pressures, the spirit of man needs to refresh itself by communion with unspoiled nature.”
Memphis, your beshackled beau is beyond lucky to have someone as loving as you fluffing his pillows.
Sara Ruffin Costello is an interior designer, editor and author. She lives in New Orleans. Questions? Message @Sararuffincostello on Instagram.
